First Time Las Vegas

Las Vegas is a lot like any other vacation spot in the world: There are always more guys looking to hook up than chicks, at certain times it can turn into a major sausage-fest (like during he college basketball tournament or when Vegas hosts a major fight) and the things that really seem like a lot of fun to dudes are almost certain to have a crowd almost entirely male. For example, betting on sports then hanging around to watch the games is my idea of a great day. I'm sure you can guess just how few women think that sounds like fun.

But it's not entirely a downer. On the upside, young women flock to Vegas with their girlfriends to cut loose and have fun. These women are entirely get-able. You're not likely to find them playing blackjack in a casino, though. They love to spend their days shopping and, when the weather is warm, hanging out at the pool. Here are some ways of maximizing your chances:

1. Choose your hotel wisely

Book your stay at a mid- to upper-tier hotel, preferably one with a great pool scene, but not at THE upper rung of hotels (I'll explain more in item 5). Mandalay Bay has the best pool in Las Vegas, and the scenery is fantastic all spring, summer and fall. Other good candidates on the Strip are Caesars Palace, the Venetian, the Mirage, MGM Grand and the Bellagio. Off the Strip, the Palms and the Hard Rock are Hookup Central.

2. Go where the women go

Shooting craps for six consecutive hours is a lot of fun, but the tables are going to be packed with pickles. You'll find more females in your hotel's buffet line or — and I just can't stress this one enough — at the pool. One side note: Depending upon where you stay the pool may have a topless area. You're going to be tempted to spend your time there. Don't. The women in those areas are, with few exceptions, out of your league (see item 5).

3. Do as much groundwork as possible during the day

Competition at the nightclubs is fierce. But spend time during the day to partake in some friendly chatting and light flirting with a few lovely young ladies, and find out what their plans are for the night. That way you can make sure to bump into them again that evening and you won't be starting from Square One. You're not a stranger, you're the guy she met that afternoon who bought her a margarita and told her the funny story about your uncle and the duck. She already feels friendly towards you, and friendliness goes a long way in Las Vegas…

4. If you're a with a bunch of guys, start early

The really hip Vegas nightclubs get really packed, and there's often a line of people wanting to get in. The door staff is WAY more likely to let in a group of women than they are to admit a pack of nothing but swinging Johnsons. So if you're going to be with a lot of lads, it's a good idea to try and make it into a club well before it gets crowded. Ask a bartender what time your club of choice heats up, then make plans to arrive three hours earlier.

5. Stay in your league

See that tall blonde with the stunning fake boobs and the tiny thong bikini that makes you wonder how much time she spends each month in electrolysis sessions? You're not going to have any luck with her. I don't care how cute you are, I don't care how charming you may be, I don't care how smooth you are with a line. She's not interested in any of that. Her fat, hairy 60-year-old Sugar Daddy has a bank account you can't match and he's in the VIP poker lounge right now betting more on a single hand than your whole group collectively spent on the entire trip.

This is also why I say you're more likely to have better luck at hotels that are a notch below the very top level. If you splurge and stay the very plushest Strip resorts you may have accidentally priced yourself right out of competition.