What are my chances of scoring?

My mates and I are planning to try our luck on the unsuspecting American ladies of Vegas and so am wondering: 1. Are there many there? (I have visions of loads of blokes.) 2. Are there specific spots in which the aforesaid ladies hang out?

Chris Kench

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Las Vegas is a lot like any other vacation spot in the world: There are always more guys looking to hook up than chicks, at certain times it can turn into a major sausage-fest (like during he college basketball tournament or when Vegas hosts a major fight) and the things that really seem like a lot of fun to dudes are almost certain to have a crowd almost entirely male. For example, betting on sports then hanging around to watch the games is my idea of a great day. I'm sure you can guess just how few women think that sounds like fun.

But it's not entirely a downer. On the upside, young women flock to Vegas with their girlfriends to cut loose and have fun. These women are entirely get-able. You're not likely to find them playing blackjack in a casino, though. They love to spend their days shopping and, when the weather is warm, hanging out at the pool. Here are some ways of maximizing your chances:

1. Choose your hotel wisely

Book your stay at a mid- to upper-tier hotel, preferably one with a great pool scene, but not at THE upper rung of hotels (I'll explain more in item 5). Mandalay Bay has the best pool in Las Vegas, and the scenery is fantastic all spring, summer and fall. Other good candidates on the Strip are Caesars Palace, the Venetian, the Mirage, MGM Grand and the Bellagio. Off the Strip, the Palms and the Hard Rock are Hookup Central.

2. Go where the women go

Shooting craps for six consecutive hours is a lot of fun, but the tables are going to be packed with pickles. You'll find more females in your hotel's buffet line or -- and I just can't stress this one enough -- at the pool. One side note: Depending upon where you stay the pool may have a topless area. You're going to be tempted to spend your time there. Don't. The women in those areas are, with few exceptions, out of your league (see item 5).

3. Do as much groundwork as possible during the day

Competition at the nightclubs is fierce. But spend time during the day to partake in some friendly chatting and light flirting with a few lovely young ladies, and find out what their plans are for the night. That way you can make sure to bump into them again that evening and you won't be starting from Square One. You're not a stranger, you're the guy she met that afternoon who bought her a margarita and told her the funny story about your uncle and the duck. She already feels friendly towards you, and friendliness goes a long way in Las Vegas...

4. If you're a with a bunch of guys, start early

The really hip Vegas nightclubs get really packed, and there's often a line of people wanting to get in. The door staff is WAY more likely to let in a group of women than they are to admit a pack of nothing but swinging Johnsons. So if you're going to be with a lot of lads, it's a good idea to try and make it into a club well before it gets crowded. Ask a bartender what time your club of choice heats up, then make plans to arrive three hours earlier.

5. Stay in your league

See that tall blonde with the stunning fake boobs and the tiny thong bikini that makes you wonder how much time she spends each month in electrolysis sessions? You're not going to have any luck with her. I don't care how cute you are, I don't care how charming you may be, I don't care how smooth you are with a line. She's not interested in any of that. Her fat, hairy 60-year-old Sugar Daddy has a bank account you can't match and he's in the VIP poker lounge right now betting more on a single hand than your whole group collectively spent on the entire trip.

This is also why I say you're more likely to have better luck at hotels that are a notch below the very top level. If you splurge and stay the very plushest Strip resorts you may have accidentally priced yourself right out of competition.

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11 responses to “What are my chances of scoring?”

  1. Steve the Texan said:

    The Bellagio is an excellent hotel. It certainly ranks in the top tier.

    Take a look through our nightlife section for ideas on clubs to hit. You won't go wrong with just about any club in a major hotel, but make a special point to investigate the hotspots in Caesars Palace, the Wynn/Encore and the Venetian.

    The pool scene will also be be happening in September. Keep that on your agenda.

  2. aaron said:

    me and four mates are visiting las vegas from the uk in september for a week. any tips for places to visit? what are the best nightclubs? we are staying in the bellagio so is this a 'upper rung' hotel?

  3. Jame sPheasant said:

    Don't worry about these silly yanks,i'm going to ruin every bird there!

  4. Janet said:

    Is this a joke question, or one to see how many women you make mad (being polite). One thing for sure you and your mates sound to young to visit Vegas. We have a great city which most don't get. Women here have brains! In the next county you can buy what you are looking for. Why did you ask about Ladies anyway the word alone is above what you can handle. Better yet let the ladies there have you. We have plenty of men here that have enough brains not to state such a question. We are doing just fine without you or your mates.

  5. Steve the Texan said:

    Lighten up, Terese. Life's too short to be serious all the time.

  6. Terese said:

    Hold on, let me go throw up.
    Okay, that's better.

    I find it funny that you think you know everything about women. Let me help you.
    1. Women. Don't. Want. Foreign. STD's. You sound like the type.
    2. Women are not objects, to be manhandled.
    3. Women don't go to Vegas to sleep with weird men, they go for attention and alchohol.
    4. Women are impressed by the few people who are not strange in a city full of strange people, act like a normal person (ie. Nice, funny, not pushy.. etc.), and you would probably have more luck with one of these, if you didn't act like she was a slut, and acted like you were actually interested in her.
    5. But if you really want to be guaranteed a "good time", call a hooker, they'd love to do the "job".

    There you go!

  7. Canadian said:

    Brits can drink .. this is true ... but a Canadian is guaranteed to be right there with him! Want to score? Pay the money and get a table. She only be there for the cash but what do you care? Never going to talk to her again anyway!

  8. Malc said:

    We Brits have one advantage. We can drink. When all other nations, except perhaps the Dutch, have gone home, been sick and knocked an easy oe out... we'll be the last resort for all those inebriated ladies.

  9. Melo said:

    well I'm not sure if February is the best time to go to Vegas, But i got to Play hard ball and try to Score... as i Always do, i gotta game baby!!!

  10. Steve the Texan said:

    Fill in your own jokes about English smiles here, Lindy.

  11. lindy said:

    whats wrong with you people. if you want to pick up a girl have a great smile and just be nice.{be yourself}

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